Our funniest customer ever is Vincent Navarino. He runs his own blog.

It is always a pleasure for me to read his tickets.

Here is an excerpt:

Heya Sascha!

I have 3-4 domain names I’m not using right now but 2 are up for
renewal the 8th of next month and I want to transfer them all them to
XXXX. Do I sign them up with you guys first and then set the domains
to transfer on their end?

Also I noticed my spambox is always empty [YAY!] and when I went in
Cpanel to check the configuration it said: Invalid license please
contact assp deluxe for cpanel support. (er 11b). [Boo?]

And just as I tried to send you an email through my mail server it
said the connection failed w/the SMTP server. That might be me
although I didn’t change any settings I’m aware of so I’m sending this
via webmail.

-Vincent Navarino

PS. You ever notice when people say how are you at the end of an email
that it seems they’re being a tad disingenuous? Not me. It’s just that
I remember last what’s important most.

My response:

Howdy,

for the domain registrations, I will need to know the EPP code. It is a little green slimy sticker at the bottom of the domain name (you need to turn it upside down and back). Sometimes it also says Authorization code.
I will look into the ASSP license.

Ciao
Sascha

And his follow up response:

Methinks someone is making fun of me with the sticker thing. Which
come to think of is not hard. So I printed out my domain info on my
laser printer, flipped the page up and back as instructed and there
was no EPP code. You mentioned the sticker was green, a color my
monochrome laser printer cannot produce. So I printed it out on my
brother’s color inkjet printer but sadly he was out of GREEN. There
were only 2 cartridges in his printer, so I figured it was the 3 color
cartridge he needed. It had 3 dots on it, none of them green but since
the other one had a black dot and I know black is not the new green it
had to be the 3 dot one needed.

My brother sensing my need to do this, decided to be a super-prick
although he lacks the foundation for such a thing, forced me to pay
$35 at Office Max to get the color cartridge required to print the EPP
code. So $35? and many hammer blows to my brother’s forehead later, I
cleaned up all the blood, dumped his body in a nearby creek and
printed out the domain info again.

No green sticker! I tried my sister’s laser printer (who by the way
was happy to help me with my brother’s body disposal) and still no
green EPP sticker.

Sensing you might have been mocking me with the whole EPP sticker
info, I did a quick Google search and found out for domain xfers you
need an Authorization code. To be sure, I emailed them about how to
find the green EPP sticker on the back of my domain name and they
started laughing at me asking if I knew Sascha. I tried to lie my way
out of it but they weren’t fooled. They offered to make up some green
EPP stickers for my domains and mail them to me but at this point I
was feeling a tad foolish and silly. Sure I was up $20, my
sister-in-law paid me $55 for the ex-hubby thing but the laughing from
those server people made me sad. The gratuitous puppy-kicking and
baby-slapping I did later made me happy enough to make this reply to
you. Well plaid, sir. Well plaid.

The 2 domains I want to xfer now are with 1&1 hosting. I have a
navarinos.com with godaddy but that’s not up for renewal until later
this year. The domains I’d like to xfer now are:

<snipped>

PS. Are the stickers really slimey?? -Vinny